So, this was a first experience...having the flu while caring for my sweet Ada Lou...alone, at home, all day. I have never had the flu and I have never had more than a sore throat since before Ada was born...at least, not that I can remember, so it was a huge shock to me to not only have the flu, but a ridiculously bad case of it...and I couldn't just sit on the couch in my pajamas, watching bad tv. I just wanted to lay on the floor and have Ada Lou do as she pleased...maybe play with her blocks, maybe chase Phil (our dachshund) around for a while...just anything so I didn't have to move. Little Lady always has other things in mind than what I want...of course she wanted to play WITH ME (I am her mommy, after all)! Of course she wanted to be held 95% OF THE DAY (The transition to whole milk can give your insides a sour spell)! Of course she had to be cranky on the one day I wanted to pass out right where I stood. So, I begrudgingly got myself together and got us out the door to spend our day doing something rather than nothing. I survived and I am none worse-the-wear. Thanks to Gatorade and Ramen noodles...I am feeling 85% today...that other 15% goes to the chest cold that coincided with the flu.
It was good for me to experience that...being a stay-at-home mom is a daily struggle. I love my daughter and want to spend every waking moment with her, yet, I want the companionship of other adults. I want the fun of lunches out...I want the satisfaction of productivity and kudos on a job well done...I want the excitement of a fashionable work wardrobe (wow, that's really sad). Being sick and caring for my daughter brought me down off of my cloud...no matter what, she is the most important thing. No matter how I feel, she needs me more than I need the couch, jammies and bad tv (even though it pains me a little to say that...because I really did feel like I needed that). It doesn't matter what I need; she needs me more.